Gloria Steinem and ME
She Changed My Life
Gloria Steinem and I were classmates at Smith College and graduated in 1956. We never actually spoke, but I knew her name. She wasn’t a big wheel, and neither was I. In 1963, she wrote a shocking article about her undercover experiences as a Playgirl Bunny at a Hugh Hefner nightclub. She exposed the poor pay the Bunnies received, the constant harassment they faced, and the pervasive misogyny in that workplace. Gloria detailed the tight corsets they were required to wear, the ultra-high heels that caused swollen feet, and gynecological exams they were forced to endure.
After that article, Gloria became an overnight celebrity, and she spent the rest of her long life advocating for women’s rights. Gloria’s path wasn’t easy, however. Over the years, Gloria faced a constant mix of negative coverage and positive support.
My granddaughters today can hardly believe how limited women’s options were when Gloria and I graduated from college. The only career options available for most women at that time were teaching, nursing, or secretarial work. For example, Sandra Day O’Connor, who became the first woman on the Supreme Court, was a real pioneer when she attended law school. When she graduated at the top of her class in 1952, however, no law firm would hire her because she was a woman.
I followed Gloria’s story closely as a stay-at-home mom with small children. My mother had never held a paid job, and I assumed my lot in life would focus on my children and supporting my husband. Still, I was enthralled by what Gloria was doing and envious of her purposeful and glamorous life.
Over the next decade, I followed Gloria’s work. I told myself I was completely happy, but at times I felt depressed and wondered, “Is this all there is?” Gloria continued being a prominent voice railing against the discrimination women faced and society’s patriarchal norms. She was a co-founder of Ms. Magazine and wrote about the thousands of women who died from botched illegal abortions.
Gloria and others promoted ongoing Consciousness Raising groups, where millions of women like me were inspired to ask new and difficult questions about our lives. In the early years, I had told myself, “Of course, I can’t be active like her because I have children.” However, I eventually asked myself, “Why not?” I realized I had ambitions and energy, too, and that I could make a difference. As a first step, I enrolled in a social work graduate program at the University of Connecticut. After earning my MSW degree, I took a full-time position and spent ten years working as a psychotherapist in a community mental health center.
Taking a full-time job was an enormous step for me. And it was unusual. Most mothers who could afford not to work didn’t. Many women were critical of my choice and asked me many questions like, “You won’t be there when the kids get home from school? Don’t you worry, your kids will feel neglected?” It was hard.
On Gloria’s 40th birthday, a reporter famously told her how fabulous she looked and how she didn’t look her age. She responded, “This is what forty looks like.” Her words helped me and many others begin to recognize how our youth-focused culture leads us to dread aging and looking old. Her remark planted an idea for my late-in-life career: writing about aging well.
But back to the 1970s. I soon had more dreams for myself. I wanted to learn how to bring about organizational change. I returned to school again and eventually to a career in organizational consulting. Three of us founded Ibis Consulting Group, a women-owned firm focused on promoting workplace diversity and organizational effectiveness. I spent twenty-five years at Ibis, providing consulting services to corporations, universities, and UN agencies. This work was, for the most part, exciting, enjoyable, and meaningful.
Gloria worked to create opportunities not only for white women, but also for African Americans and other marginalized groups. Her efforts resulted in impressive successes. However, we often overlook the immense energy devoted to opposing Women’s Liberation. Many younger women today do not identify as feminists or with Women’s Lib, even though they strongly advocate for women’s rights.
At our 25th college reunion in 1981, when I was 46, I finally connected with Gloria in person. That day, the campus was teaming with trucks from national TV stations eager to catch a glimpse of her. Although Gloria was a prominent national leader, our Reunion Planning Committee felt she was too controversial to play a significant role in our program. They thought her comments would be divisive. So they pretty much ignored her. I was frustrated by this decision and expressed my feelings to Gloria during our conversation. Fortunately, in the years that followed, our class became much more welcoming toward her. The progress over the next twenty years was significant.
In recent years in the US, as you all know, there have once again been significant challenges and setbacks regarding women’s rights and democracy. Many of us feel not only discouraged but also terrified about our future. This fear is heightened by the overturning of Roe v. Wade, widespread government corruption, attempts at voter suppression, ongoing gerrymandering, recent Supreme Court decisions, and escalating wars.
Gloria did not despair. She encouraged us all to remember that progress is not always linear, and setbacks are to be expected. She continued to keep on with her advocacy until the end of her life. She died in August 2026 at age 92.
What keeps my spirits up today is my small bit of weekly activism. Every Friday morning from 8 to 9, about a dozen of us over 75 gather on a nearby street corner, holding signs that say things like “Restore the Rule of Law” and “Reclaim Our Democracy.” I’m also bolstered by the growing activism of younger generations, like the community responses to I.C.E.’s overreach in Minneapolis and youth-led coalitions like the Sunrise Movement.
I am forever grateful to Gloria Steinem for all she did to make the world a better place. I was lucky that I didn’t face serious financial barriers. But I did have to overcome the expectations of my family and peers, as well as the existing discrimination against women. Gloria gave me the courage to do what I wanted to do with my life. May all women have the opportunity to live the life they want to live.
Katharine,
I so enjoyed your reminiscing about the transformation of your world, starting when we met at the mental health clinic when you were just out of SW school. Gloria Steinem certainly inspired but you, and I, created our own personal paths. And now we look back -- and forward -- with new generations of women after us, benefitting and being challenged, as always.
Thank you for sharing your experience and reflections. I think how ironic that Gloria Steinem and Dolly Parton died within months of each other. Two iconic women!. I too graduated from an all women's college during hte 2nd wave of feminism ( 1974). And, I too bemoan where we are today. Thinking back, I feel that Betty Freidan's writing and work impacted me significantly.during my college years. Thank you for your work.